I got stories

Don't be alarmed but I lied last night. I said I knew the source of my problems but "you" were right, it was just a byproduct.
I've been holding in all my pain for so long because you all think your more important. At least you think your more hurt.
So "you" asked me to tell you about whats happened... you wanted superficial and I said "nothing" because you just wouldn't have really heard me clearly and brushed me away.
so here it is. I've finally cried, for all that crap I held in because I had to be above pain and sorrow. Because I'm your rock, and you would crumble under my heavy heart. So I finally got to cry, and you're going to ask whats wrong, but it's none of your business so just leave it alone.
And I'm the one who needs to just... chill out. I need you all to stop dropping your bullshit problems on me because I forgot that I still exist. I forgot who I was because you made me act like your rock, and I stopped writing, I stopped sleeping, I stopped using my own voice and I told rhetoric... So I'm going to start sleeping with mr. Ginsberg, and I'll stop answering your calls. I'm going to stop caring because I'm about to die. I'm not ready to die. I just want to be a teen for one more month, so stop aging me.
You're not more hurt, or smarter, sadder, prettier, better... and if you think you have bigger problems, just leave me the fuck alone. If you're willing to be a friend, then call me.