Maybe it doesn't really exist

I've been wondering about intentions. Do people actually want what they claim they want or is there this whole other side to it in which we just can't be honest at all? What's real and what isn't is a massive blur based on what the perpetrator is hiding. So... it's the question of my belief in happiness I suppose.
I'm just really concerned about art. And to further that, I'm concerned that it's existence has really ended now. I feel a little down but it's really normal. There's a constant bargaining between having thoughts and being able to admit you may be the only one having those thoughts. Like this.. I guess.
I watch a short film about "artists" and life like actions, and coming of age and all that jazz that we read in high school. It's easy listening, but do people like these characters exist. So I figure they must because it's hard to create something of thin air and call it a reflection of the world today. Right?
Maybe it's not the end of an era but it's a very very weird time.
And a weird place.

And I think it's time for me to go somewhere else or just sleep longer hours and go veggie and be trendy in a non trendy forum.

Or just go somewhere else. And watch a movie.

Old yet satisfying for my eyes to re-read

Headache Appeal

Blankness in an aching mind

Treachery, treachery, what's the time?

A pulse, a beat

So nervous and neat

The kindness of an empty letter

Like a vowel alone, I, U, A?

Only difference is nothing is personal

Nothing empty at least

Blankness and it still aches

The pulse still goes

Extensively.

Nothing at all though

It's becoming very personal

Or is it still hollow?

An I, I, I…

Followed by a "like you"

Still hollow?

An empty mind never aches

But an empty soul?

No one writes about money or material

Not at face value at least

Oh… wait

"America" does, a little…

This is not a love poem

Nothing must be felt by a reader

Not a word

The cure had a horrible view of love

Pity to them

Anyways, it's sad

CIBC building is the taste of freedom

Free to…

Invest?

Yet are we not free now?

Free to learn and achieve other people's standards

To reach the goals everyone has set

More pain in the mind

A cold caused it though, not the lack of sanity

Everything is so beautiful, when you're happy.

Sara Lawlor

P.S.

My day was all over and my hearts going too far from my chest in beats of unmeasurable time. Enough drama, I'm getting old. On Tuesday I turn 20. Oh I'm fearful.