My word

I have to stop using words at all because they feel so empty and useless. It's remarkable how much I'm exactly what I say I'm not.
self centered self pitying self righteous self deprecating self involved self destructive
selfish
and of course I'm many times worse than that. I finally admit it.
I'm a bad person, deep down inside. I'm not good.

Ok. I admit it. It's been a long time coming. I don't need to cry about it, and I sure as hell wont change it.
So, take it me for who I am.

and My Word is honest from now on, in that my word is manipulative and conniving.

And I really think he's the coolest kid I ever met and I mean that too.
And I don't manipulate the cool ones. I can't. I feel rotten enough. I have no value today.
I just wish I had some way of making this all work in my favour and I don't even have the will to stand up.