I'm so sick

I really loved him and this is why we can't spend time together.
I wish we didn't act like 4 year olds when we flirt, and I really wish we didn't flirt.
I want to say you started it. You always do actually.
I get anxious, and I hate being anxious because I get so sick to my stomach.
I cry and cry and cry and feel like I'm going to blow up.

And of course now things fall back to shit because I thought, I THOUGHT this was going to be the month where my life turned around. I hate everyone.